A beautiful heart is more beautiful than a thousand beautiful faces.

A finger in the batty hole actually feels quite nice.

You never make exactly the same cum face twice.

Wine her slow. Wine her fast. Tonight's the night so dine don't fast.

The chances of finding living dinosaurs is far greater than hearing anyone express they enjoyed The Lost World more than the first Jurassic Park.

You naturally start to trust someone after hugging them for 30 seconds.

People who use the phrase "turn it down" are shit lovers.

Never take the elevator with someone who doesn't smile.

The only thing that can stop a bad person with a waffle is a good person with a waffle.

If your partner won't put out. Someone else's partner will.

88% of electricians report not being able to climax if a light bulb needs changing in the bedroom.

Speeding in the rain screams natural selection.

True love is letting them have the keys to the hovercraft.

If you always leave things to the last minute then they'll only take a minute.

Confidence comes from doing what’s best for you even if that means doing it alone.

If you’re not in constant state of post-nut clarity. Then you’re in a constant state of pre-nut delusion.

When you suffer illness or injury it’s just the universes way of giving others a chance as you’ve become too great.

A double shot is never too much if you’re decaf.